Patch Notes #021 — IPO Week and Console Eve

Twitter went public and popped 73% on day one. The bird is worth $31 billion while losing money, and every founder at every meetup this week had a new gleam in their eye. Also in “numbers that break my brain”: rumor is Snapchat turned down three billion dollars from Facebook. Snapchat! The disappearing-photos app! Either the greatest bluff or the greatest conviction of our era. (Evan Spiegel is 23. I am also 23. He turned down $3B and I turned down a second helping of team lunch because I was scared of the burrito line.) ...

November 11, 2013

Patch Notes #020 — Four in a Row and Free Fall

Vettel clinched his fourth consecutive F1 world championship in India this week, while Man United sit in ninth place under Moyes. One year after winning the league under Ferguson. Rebuilds can be fast when the culture changes, and it turns out so can collapses. Filing that away for reasons I can’t articulate yet. Battlefield 4 launches this week and the beta was so broken that the community has preemptively named the launch “paid early access.” Between SimCity, healthcare.gov, and this, 2013 is the Year of the Botched Launch. Someone should write a series about… oh wait. ...

October 27, 2013

Patch Notes #019 — The Worst Launch in History

healthcare.gov launched and it is exactly what the nervous IT people predicted. Six users completed enrollment on day one. Six. Out of millions. Every engineer I know is rubbernecking, not to gloat, but because it’s all our worst habits with a national audience: big-bang release, integration tested in production, no rollback plan, contractors pointing at each other. They’re flying in Silicon Valley engineers to rescue it. I’m weirdly rooting for the rescue squad. ...

October 12, 2013

Patch Notes #018 — A Billion Dollars in Three Days

GTA V made a billion dollars in three days. Fastest entertainment property ever to do it, faster than any movie. I contributed $60 and roughly eleven hours I should have spent sleeping. The heists are software architecture: three crew members, coordinated execution, one guy always fails his job (it’s me, I’m the crew member who fails). Valve spent the week making announcements: SteamOS, Steam Machines, a controller with trackpads. They’re coming for the living room because Windows 8’s app store scares them. Watching a company build an escape hatch from a platform they depend on is the Google Reader lesson at corporate scale. ...

September 27, 2013

Patch Notes #017 — Fingerprints and Fall Launches

Apple announced the iPhone 5S with a fingerprint reader in the home button. Touch ID. Half of HN says biometrics are the future, half says you can’t rotate your fingerprint like a password, and one guy is explaining how he’ll lift prints with gummy bears. I love this website. There’s also a plastic 5C in colors, which exists so the 5S looks premium. Pricing psychology: noted. EPL season is a month in and my auto-picked Fantasy Premier League team (two goalkeepers, no striker) somehow won gameweek one. I have opinions about formations now. This is how they get you. ...

September 12, 2013

Patch Notes #016 — Demo Day Season and Exit Ballmer

Steve Ballmer announced he’s retiring from Microsoft within a year and the stock jumped 7% on the news, which has to be the most brutal performance review ever delivered by a market. Everyone’s sharing the video of him screaming “developers developers developers.” I’ve watched it maybe thirty times. Sweaty commitment to my profession. Respect. YC Summer Demo Day is this week. The batch recaps are full of mobile-first everything and a few “we’ll deliver X to your door” companies. Delivery is apparently the new social. My meetup friend applied with his boat thing and got rejected and is applying again with the same idea renamed. That’s either delusion or founder energy, and nobody can tell, which I’m learning is the point. ...

August 28, 2013

Patch Notes #015 — Tubes and Newspapers

Elon Musk published a 57-page white paper for the “Hyperloop,” shooting pods through low-pressure tubes at 700mph, then said he’s too busy to build it and someone else should. The audacity of publishing homework and assigning it to civilization. Engineers at lunch spent two hours debating thermal expansion joints. We ship a CRUD app. Also: Jeff Bezos personally bought the Washington Post. Not Amazon, just Jeff, with his wallet, $250M. A newspaper. Everyone has a theory and all the theories are about data or ego or both. ...

August 13, 2013

Patch Notes #014 — A $35 Dongle

Google shipped the Chromecast, a $35 dongle that throws video at your TV, and it sold out everywhere instantly. The interesting part to me: it’s not trying to be a computer on your TV (hi, Google TV, RIP), it’s trying to be invisible. Cheap, dumb, does one thing. There’s a design lesson in there I can feel but can’t articulate yet. Work has entered crunch mode for a big feature launch. I’ve learned that “we’ll just work weekends” is said by people who will not be working the weekends. My first taste of crunch-time cynicism. It pairs well with cold pizza and hot briyanis. ...

July 29, 2013

Patch Notes #013 — 77 Years

Andy Murray won Wimbledon. First British man in 77 years. I don’t even follow tennis and I got chills. Our designer streamed the last game at his desk and the whole team gathered around like it was the moon landing. 77 years is longer than most companies live. Longer than programming has existed, basically. In my world: Dota 2 officially launched out of beta and my evenings are now spoken for. It’s free, which after reading about Valve’s economics all week, I understand is the most expensive kind of game. ...

July 14, 2013

Patch Notes #012 — The Chosen One and the End of the Reader Era

I watched Neymar tear apart Spain in the Confederations Cup final with the whole roomies in a bar, and when Brazil scored their third I screamed. But the real drama is Man United naming David Moyes as Ferguson’s successor. A banner at Old Trafford already says “The Chosen One.” My coworker who’s a City fan hasn’t stopped grinning since. Football is a distributed system for feelings and I’m fully bought in now. ...

June 29, 2013